As much as there’s love in the family, there may come a time when disagreements arise and it becomes difficult to see eye to eye on the way forward. These situations may require a more structured and functional way to come to a solution. You may need to consider going the family dispute resolution (FDR) way.
This is a structured, confidential process that sees a neutral mediator help your family have a sit-down and talk to resolve conflicts. It’s especially common when matters concerning children and separation are in the picture, during succession disputes and so on. But what should you expect to happen if you go down this family mediation route?
Initial Assessment
It’s wise not to kick off the process before finding out whether it’s right for your situation. An FDR practitioner will sit down with you, or sometimes just one of you, at the start, to assess whether mediation is suitable. They do this because not every case works well in this kind of setting.
Say, one partner has a history of intimate partner violence. Face-to-face mediation might feel unsafe or unfair in such cases. The FDR practitioner needs to know these details upfront so they can decide the next best step.
It’s also smart to seek independent legal advice before setting things in motion. Reaching out to Chatswood Family Lawyers or similar trusted firms can help you assess whether FDR is suitable, as well as make sure your rights are protected from the start.
Introduction to the Process
Once the mediator is well-appraised of the situation, they’ll introduce you to how FDR actually works. They’ll clearly explain their role and give the ground rules for the process.
You’ll find that this alternative dispute resolution process can evoke emotions. They’ll tell you the parameters you must adhere to, be it not interrupting others, staying respectful, and steering clear of personal attacks.
Identifying Issues
The mediation process officially begins once you’ve agreed to the ground rules. More often than not, you’ll have an open discussion, and this is a chance for all of you to share your concerns, needs, and priorities. Sometimes these mediation sessions happen together in the same room; other times, the mediator might meet separately with each party to clarify points privately.
At this stage, you might discover new angles to the problem. Maybe one parent hadn’t realized how much stress the current setup was causing the other, or maybe both realize they agree on certain basics. Once you have a clearer picture of the core issues, you can start brainstorming ways to resolve them.
Exploring Options
The mediator will encourage both of you to explore all the possibilities. For instance, you’re trying to figure out a parenting schedule. One parent wants weekends, while the other prefers weekdays. Instead of getting stuck arguing over who gets what, you could brainstorm alternatives.
The goal isn’t to immediately pick a solution. It’s to generate as many ideas as possible. During this phase, the mediator helps shift your focus from positions to interests.
Positions are rigid statements, like, “I want full custody.” Interests are the underlying reasons behind those positions, such as “I want to ensure my child feels secure” or “I need flexibility for my job.” When you focus on interests, it becomes easier to find common ground.
Negotiation and Agreement
During this stage, the mediator guides the discussions to ensure both sides feel heard and respected.
After brainstorming, you narrow down a few potential plans. Then you start weighing pros and cons together.
Plan A gives Parent A most weekends but allows Parent B some weekday evenings. Plan B alternates weeks entirely between the two parents. As you discuss, the mediator keeps things balanced.
Once you reach an agreement, the mediator can write it down. This document might be called a Parenting Plan if it involves children. It outlines exactly what’s been decided, including details like drop-off times, communication methods, and holiday arrangements.
If, for some reason, you can’t agree on everything, the mediator might issue a Section 60I Certificate. This proves you tried mediation and is required before filing certain court applications.
Post-FDR Considerations
The whole process can go down two roads.
If you successfully reached an agreement, well and good. However, don’t take that win yet. Let your lawyer look through the agreement to make sure it’s fair, enforceable, and protects your rights. If needed, they can help convert the agreement into consent orders. These are legally binding documents approved by the court, giving your agreement extra weight.
If you don’t reach an agreement, you may need to go to court. The Section 60I Certificate comes in handy in these situations. Without it, the court won’t hear most parenting-related cases unless there’s an exception, like urgency or safety concerns.
Why FDR Works
Why does FDR work in resolving family disputes? Here are a few reasons:
Confidentiality
What happens in mediation stays in mediation, so to speak. No one outside the room gets to hear what was discussed. This confidentiality encourages honesty. You don’t have to worry about saying something in mediation that could come back to haunt you in the family court system.
Impartiality
The mediator isn’t on anyone’s side. Their job is to stay neutral and help both parties communicate effectively. They won’t tell you what to do or make decisions for you. Instead, they’ll guide the conversation and keep things balanced. This neutrality can be a building block of trust, and that makes it easier to work together toward a solution.
Child-Focused
If children are involved, FDR always prioritizes their best interests. This means thinking about more than just custody arrangements. It includes considering their emotional, physical, and psychological well-being. The mediator will remind you to put the kids’ needs ahead of your own feelings.
Cost-Effective
FDR can be cheaper than going to court. Court proceedings can drag on for months at a time, even years, and legal fees can quickly become expensive. FDR, on the other hand, usually takes less time and costs significantly less. With this approach, you also don’t have to air your laundry in public. It’s a much gentler alternative to the court process.
Closing Thoughts
Family dispute resolution has the capacity to help you and your family come to a consensus that works for everyone. However, you need to do the legwork early on to determine whether it’s best suited to address your concerns and needs.
If it fits your situation, by all means, go for it. If there’s a much better approach, consider it too. Talk to your legal representation and let them guide you on the best way forward.
