When the holidays roll around, most families imagine cozy dinners, cheerful music, and happy reunions. But for parents who share custody, the season can also bring a bit of tension. Experts at Petite Family Law attest that figuring out who gets the kids when can feel like a logistical puzzle. Thankfully, shared parenting agreements are designed to take the guesswork out of those important holiday moments. Understanding how these visitation schedules work can help parents plan, reduce conflict, and make the season more joyful for everyone involved, especially the kids.
The Heart of the Matter: What a Shared Parenting Agreement Covers
A shared parenting agreement (sometimes called a custody agreement) is the blueprint for how separated or divorced parents will share time and responsibilities. It outlines where the child lives, how major decisions are made, and who gets which holidays. These agreements are legally binding and aim to protect both parents’ rights while keeping the child’s best interests at the center.
When it comes to holidays, parents typically agree on a specific schedule that lays out where the children will spend each special day. The goal is to make sure kids have meaningful time with both parents while maintaining consistency and fairness.
How Holiday Schedules Are Structured
Every family handles holidays differently, but there are a few common ways parents set up visitation schedules in shared parenting plans:
- Alternating Holidays
A simple option is to switch holidays each year. For example, one parent might have the kids for Thanksgiving in even years and the other in odd years. The same idea can apply to Christmas, New Year’s, or any other special occasion. It keeps things fair and gives both parents time to make their own traditions. - Splitting the Holiday
Some parents choose to divide a single holiday. The kids might spend Christmas morning with one parent and the evening with the other. It takes a little more coordination, but it lets both parents share time with their children on the actual day. - Fixed Holidays Based on Traditions
In some families, certain holidays hold special meaning. If one parent always hosts Thanksgiving, for instance, they might keep that holiday every year while the other parent gets one that’s equally important to them. This helps preserve family traditions that matter most. - School Breaks
Parenting plans also cover longer breaks, like winter or spring vacation. Parents might alternate years or divide the time evenly. When travel is involved, the plan can specify who handles transportation, how much notice is required, and how communication will work during the trip.
Special Considerations for Holiday Planning
When deciding how to divide holidays, several key factors come into play:
- Distance between homes: If parents live far apart, alternating holidays might not be practical every year. In such cases, longer visits during specific holidays can make more sense.
- Children’s ages and preferences: Older children may have opinions about where they’d like to spend certain holidays, and some parenting agreements allow for flexibility as kids mature.
- Religious or cultural observances: Families that celebrate different holidays — such as Hanukkah, Christmas, or Ramadan — often create schedules that honor both parents’ traditions.
- Extended family involvement: Grandparents, cousins, and family gatherings can all influence how time is divided. Agreements can specify times when children can see both sides of the family during festive seasons.
Tips for Making Holiday Visitation Work Smoothly
Even with a clear agreement in place, holiday emotions can run high. Here are a few ways to keep things running smoothly:
- Plan early: The earlier parents communicate about travel, gifts, and schedules, the easier it is to avoid last-minute stress.
- Stay flexible: Life happens — flights get delayed, kids get sick, or plans change. A little flexibility goes a long way toward maintaining goodwill.
- Keep communication child-focused: Holiday arrangements should always center on what’s best for the children, not on convenience or competition between parents.
- Create new traditions: Even if the holidays look different after a separation, both parents can start new traditions that their children will look forward to every year.
Conclusion: Keeping the Holidays Bright and Balanced
The holidays can be one of the most emotionally charged times for separated parents, but they can also be significant when handled with cooperation and care. A well-thought-out shared parenting agreement helps both parents make the most of the season with their kids. If you’re navigating the complexities of shared custody during the holidays, consulting an expert at Petite Family Law can make all the difference. They can help ensure your agreement is fair, enforceable, and tailored to your family’s unique needs. This means when the next holiday season rolls around, you can focus less on logistics and more on what really matters: creating joyful memories with your children.






